Friday, December 31, 2010

under construction :)

this blog is currently undergoing a new makeover process.

in conjunction with new year kan ? hahah.
which reminds me, i still havent thought of a new name for this blog . :|

humming ; speak now - taylor swift ;)

dear 2010 :)

in a while, we are to say goodbye to glorious 2010.
somehow, i feel not much anticipation for 2011. it's difficult, seeing as 2010 could easily be the best year of my school life.

so many many new things i've learned. being an SPM candidate, so much pressure, so much fun. last year of school, feeling excited yet very sad.
i had loved learning, but at the same time loathing it, imagine, now i am practically missing doing addmaths, hahahh.

i have lost so much, and yet gained a lot.
i have lost people i loved with all my heart, but also found more people to love :)
i am leaving probably the best era in my life - being a school kid - and i am now at the entrance to the real world - like literally, im starting to go through applications for colleges, scholarships, etc.
i suppose ending school meant there would be some people i would not see ever again. but life is like that, you meet people, and you have to say goodbye at some time.

ohh, i feel like crying thinking that 2010 is to go. hee :')

i want to thank every single person who has definitely made 2010 so beautiful for me.
from my besties, to my classmates, to my teachers, and my family, thank you thank you thank you for the pretty memory album of 2010 for me.
 thank you, for loving me as i love you :)

if i could, i would write everything that happened in 2010, but well, that's highly unlikely to happen ;) so im just gonna settle with this.

goodbye year 2010, let's hope as 2011 is as amazing as you were. 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Little Girl's Request

Wth is this ? em, well, kind of like my wishlist. things i want to get for me-self or do during these long dayss ;D

- necklace ! dari hari tuh carik. heheh. not those huge heavy long chain types, the ones that you cant see me wearing. hahaha !

- taylor swift's speak now album . sukeee ;)

-  house of night ; burned -- nak nak ! i need to know how the freaking story ends !!

- a new phone ? please please pleasee -- and not just any phone. BB torch ahh , hahaha ! demand sot ;)

- get new sneakers :)

- exercise ! sh*tt ! im freaking out of shape. just now we walked on the beach, and in a few seconds, were out of breath. hahaha !

- workk. yes yes, i need money ;)

- license ! biar tak suke gle3 gy situ. ngn org2 jakun gle pandang org mcm tk penah nmpk org. i wore clothes right ?! or did i look like an alien ? sheeshh !
i still need my effing license. huh, dhla kne wat motor, gle waste of time ;)

- lepakk lah. ngn mereka2. rinduuu :')
- meet up with old friends perhaps. lots of catching up to do :)

- my own laptop pleasee ? ;)

- find notes to current fave songs to play on piano. :D which reminds me, the piano needs a lot of tuning. my fave note ; G - lower G lah tapi - is stuck :(

- watch a whole lot of movies. hahaha

anything else? maybe i'll think of it again :)



Tuesday, December 28, 2010

say what ?

while everyone is already behind the wheel, i'm just starting to go to the 6 hours talk which i'd probably get nothing from.
sucks weyh, dahla tkde geng ;(
today today,
i dont know, cam takde mood.


sy tension kat rumah. :'(

my only reason to smile is you

Sunday, December 26, 2010

so long, goodbye :)

finally, home - an expression of relief and sadness. :)

already missing smue budak2 yg besstt tuhh. not a complete day without laughing til our stomachs hurt during the trip.
with a few kilometres more to go in the bus, ktorg smue kate, patah balik lahh, tkmoh balek gy.
haha, bez gler trip nehh.
it's very possible that im not gonna see some of them ever again, i shall miss them all :) -- biar ade yg sy tk knal pon hehehe ;D

kamu smue best teramatt! <3

Friday, December 17, 2010

out of town !

going to kl later, until 27th. longgg huh ?

joining awok2 yg gy lwtn on 22nd. 
sad coz i cant be on the bus with you people -- aziema sy mntak maaf ;)
ever realised that in a trip, some of the most best moments are on the bus, when you're on the way to somewhere. heee~
so im bummed that i have to miss it.
oh well, have a safe journey dearests. :)

dinner date :)

17th Dec :)

Due to the fact that we'll be having a busy day tomorrow, - 18th Dec - Abah decided to celebrate my Mommy's birthday just now.
Hence, the dinner date.

And i mean, date, literally.

we went to Permai Inn since my mom was interested in watching the live band. so the place was not bad. besides the fact that there's little choice, the food was satisfying.
i especially lovee my dad's tall ais kacang ! partly because he gave the ice cream part to me ;D

then, my dad started to give requests to the band, yelah, sempena his wife's bday.
and eventually, the band played their song - Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You - George Benson

what did i tell you about the date, huh ?

in a way, it was sweet to see my parents all excited - and all loveydovey with each other - about their song.
hahah, iloveyou both.

Happy Birthday Mommy ! :)


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

potato couch !

sheesshh ! i'm so damn bored. there's nothing to do. i mean i'd love to go out and stuff, but i wont have a ride, or a freaking place to go in fact.
what do people do after spm ?
i'm like onlining 24/7, but i'm not in front of the laptop, instead slouched on the couch flipping through channels on the tv. seriously? this is what my life comes to ?
ugh ugh. just get over here 22nd. i need an outing from this town ;)

imma thinking of changing this blog's name. but i have like, nil ideas. sighs.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

i can take care of myself ;)

EST is out of my life !
 -- that is until the results come out next year.
but still, out of my life ! ;)

i am officially not a SPM Candy '10 anymore, and officially an ex-student.
feels weird, no, scratch that, feels like nothing. nothing feels different. 
i still feel like my old immature 17-year-old-self.
oh well, can't wait for many fun times heading my way. cheers !

reason for title ; emm just trying to make a statement.

si kuneng :)

esok 15th esok 15th !

EST weyhh, i'm so filled with dread. what with the fact i dont know wth to study !
all i can do is hope, and grip my pen tight tomorrow - when i'm nervous my fingers are all tingly and numb heee ;)

oh well, tomorrow shall be my last day as si kuneng ! -- my last time wearing my kuneng uniform.
gonna miss this. si kuneng's all grown up :)


Sunday, December 12, 2010

experience is a brutal teacher.

i've never been one to have a lot of patience. 
as i typed these words, anxiousness bites me and the knowledge of having to wait one more day tortures me in the most uncomfortable way.
15th December could not have possibly come any slower - not that i look forward to it head on, there is always that sadness, looming over you.

the last paper will signify the point where i am no longer called a schoolgirl.
i have to grow up, watch myself now, not always relying on someone wiser, braver or stronger to be there to make sure i shan't stray from my path.

i can take care of myself, can i ?

there are so many things that i have now, that i treasure, never once wanting to let go of my grip on them. 
question is, are they real? or are they just masquerading, lulling me into a false sense of security. how can one ever be sure ?
but then i thought, no one's ever sure. we just have to put ourselves out there, so experience can be our teacher now.

so i'll wear my uniform for probably the last time on the 15th, sadly, and happily.

beautiful years, they were.
even if i had my worst crying fits.
even if i had seen people walk away from me.
even if i thought i could never heal from some wounds.
but they are the years that made me who i am now.

and i am truly, undoubtedly, grateful.

i dont know what exactly prompted me to write this. maybe just checking if i had gone a little rusty ?

wish me luck for EST :)

"Experience is a brutal teacher. But we learn. My God, we learn." - C.S.Lewis

Saturday, December 11, 2010

And I'll say just fine

I dont really care what most people say, Taylor Swift's songs are still superbly sweet and meaningful. They're like something you want to tell someone else, but just couldnt find the right words.
So screw all critics, her new album have some rocking songs ;)
note ; I'm not so sure if this song is really in her album Speak Now.

 Superman - Taylor Swift

Tall dark and superman, he puts papers in his briefcase and drives away
To save the world or go to work- it's the same thing to me
He's got his mothers eyes, his fathers ambition
I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him
I hang on to every word you say, and you smile and say how are you?
And I'll say just fine.
I always forget to tell you I love you. I'll love you forever

I watched Superman fly away
You got a busy day today
Go save the world
I'll be around
And I watched superman fly away
Come back I'll be with you some day
I'll be right here on the ground
When you come back down

Tall, dark and beautiful, he's complicated, he's irrational
But I hope someday he'll take me away and save the day, yeh
Something in his deep brown eyes has me saying,
He's not all bad like his reputation
And I can't hear one single word they say.
You'll leave, got places to be and I'll be OK
I always forget to tell you I love you
I loved you from the very first day


And I watch you fly around the world
And I hope you don't take some other girl
Don't forget, don't forget about me
I'm far away but I never let you go
I'm love struck and looking out the window
Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be
Right here wishing the flowers were from you,
Wishing the card was from you wishing the call was from you
'Cause I've loved you from the very first day


When you come back down

Thursday, December 9, 2010

acting ;)

saye bajet saye habes dah spm ! :)

first tyme kot, time jawab soalan akaun rase benci yg meluap-luap.
haihh akaun 2, napelaa ko wat kusut otak ambe ?
i'm kinda really relying on my akaun 1 now, since hopefully, i scored it.

if i dont get a good grade for accounts,
i wont be able to apply for what i want in the near future :'(
huh, ibu pujuk lam kete tadi, nanges kott hahaaa.

oh well.
please God, soften the hearts of our examiners. :)

Monday, December 6, 2010

just , don't :(

funny, i thought coming close to the end of spm, nothing could make sad.
i'm proven wrong, happy now ?

so the past is not important enough.
we're so different with each other now.
you've changed? or was it me ?
i dont know. i really dont.
if you really want nothing to do with me, - us - anymore. just say the word.
we can be complete strangers.

saya tahu saya salah, saya tahu awak marah dengan saya tapi saya tak tahu kenape.
saya mntak maaf.

nice knowing you :(

acid and bases ?

yes yes yes !
chemy is overr ;))
the subject i freaking least like, hahahh
tapi bez la pulak jwab tadii. hahahh masehh pokjakk. spot smue kene ! like tirah said, " takkan tak caye pokjak ? "
hahaa. i believe i believe ! ;)

goodbyee chemyy ! <3

Saturday, December 4, 2010

jeng3 !

why why ?


yes ! souvy2 ! -- mcm abah pndai jee shopping -_-"

abah called a couple days ago,
he said it was snowing in france - ugh jealous ;( - and he was freezing and impatient to be in hot malaysia.
hurm, though i wont say malaysia's that hot now.
ugh, cold all the time, i wear my fave hoodiee every minute - ceyh, exaggerating !

3.30 pick up abah kat airport nnti !

ifa rindu abah ! :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

15th, please please come quickly:)

yes yes, SPM is soo not done yet.
i have 3 papers left though.
Chemy, Acc and EST ! im kinda tired of the books now, so taking a break. hee~
all my previous papers, well not bad. but i cant say A+ is in my hands. :(
well, i did my best, just hope it was enough.

recent quote found and liked !

Chuck Bass : Dont leave. Everybody leaves.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

and you just go with the flow

check it, 22 days to go !
I'm not ready yet! if i were, i would be answering all the exercises with a goofy smile on my face. haha ;) I'm still effing lazing around - this includes onlining and blogging ? sheeshh !! - and not doing enough practice. * i've deactivated my fb. probably just active on saturdays ? hahah ;))

i suppose this would then be my last post for a while till spm eyh ? *hopefully.
see, even i dont trust myself. jeeshh x)

hurm, i suppose there are going to be questions asked and answers i have to be ready with.
though there are few in particular that i'd rather not have come forth, but also a couple i wish had come forth ;))

my last school days are coming to an end. tears and laughter i had throughout it are the most precious ever. it's time for the world to be ready for the '93-not-so-kids-anymore.
i'm gonna miss everything, but am looking forward for whatever lies in front.

well i guess i've gone a lil bit ahead of myself here. well, SPM, bring it on !

-- asking or begging ? forgiveness for all my wrongdoings. pray for me :)

-- title ; Elevator - David Archuleta

Monday, October 18, 2010

i got nothing.

havent blogged for a bit - or online for that matter - no broadband, no online laa.

35 days more to go people !
arent you scared? i'm not. 
i'm terrified!
oh god i need to sleep less ! x)

well this is my out speech.
wish me luck and pray for me.
and my teman2 too !

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

seventeen and going legal.

just now having no extra class, i went back early.
i had to follow my mom to my dad's aunt's jamuan raya + majlis kesyukuran.
while i was there, my mom talked with with two women, i stood by, not really listening until one of the women addressed me.

ibu ; haa yg neh yg nak exam neh.

makcik ; ohh, UPSR ke dik?

me ; eh taklaa, SPM.

makcik ; oohhh. blaja sungguh ehh.

me ; (senyum tak ikhlas)

ookaayyy . firstly, UPSR is OVER, and i'm not that short. ;(
adeyhh, makcik, naseb than sabar, tak tunjuk nmpk touchy2 hehehe

sedeyhnyee, saya nmpk mcm kanak2 ribena lagi T.T

Sunday, September 26, 2010

to build up walls again.

It is time to forget you.
I am tired of thinking of you,
For I only end up crying.
I don't want to miss you,
For I will feel utterly alone.
I have given up on deciding,
For I kept feeling distracted.

Like I said, it is time to forget you,
And you to forget me.
Distance kills as well as silence and unsaid words.
I'm just tired of caring for you but not knowing if it's the best for both of us.

- braced my self for the goodbye, cause that's all I've ever known.

Just so we're clear,
Ifa is very extremely superbly busy and gonna lay off onlining for now.
I'm sorry that my last post had to be this distressing,
apparently I just fill distressed right now.

Friday, September 24, 2010

A Fine Frenzy

You must know of the groans when a load of papers are placed on your desks. those papers are giving me a total headache ! I feel like swooning over just by the sight of them. even as i typed these words i felt sick -- the images are scarred in my mind forever T.T

Anyways, due to the workload and the books, i have not touched the piano for about a week now which is pretty rare. even irra noticed it. she says it's shocking. hm, i think playing could actually cure this headache the papers are giving me ;D

To end,
Few verses from a song i like coz the piano part is lovely . :)

Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy

So you're gone and i'm haunted
And i bet you are just fine
Did i make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life

Well i'd thought i never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover
Goodbye my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be

So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

with the opening of school, us form fivers received our trial results.
dpat -- 2A-, 5A, 3B.

sdeyhh !

im such a freaking loser !

org laen dapat gempakk :(

i've gotta get my head down from the clouds, study ifa study ! ;)

kejadian2 menarik ;

tadi teacher rabaah bagi ktorg coklattt

PATCHI ! alaaa, lamee tak makannn :D
lame tk mntk abah beli,,

stickernyee saye sukeee,  nak lagiii sticker dyee :(

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Tell me what you want to hear

Current ; School school !
It's time to really stuff my face into books T.T  - not looking forward to that, but very in need of it :)

people ! let's be kiasu together now !

emm ?

i dont get what my heart says about you.

i think my words are too flowery nowadays. i need to lay off all those classic novels, but screw that, jane eyre is my all time fave classic novel ;)
i'm still waiting for abah to get me jane austen's pride and prejudice original version ! i love how these classic authors write :)

title ; secrets - one republic

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Cutie :)

Kad raye kad raye ! <3
Yeayy dapat kad raye gak this year, i missed times when i used to get more than 10 :) --mase kechik2 dulu aa. skg pakai taip semuee iyee ;D

Thanx abg asyraf!

Thanx Nor Syazwani sayanggg !! ;)

ala, rindunyee wanie :'(
azam after spm ; JUPE WANI !! <3

i am missing many people currently, weiirrdd :)

-- this particular sentence in the song love the way you lie had been repeating itself in my head for two days;
don't you hear sincerity in my voice when i talk

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Introducing Me.

 Ala, comelnyee lagu nehh,
im not so much a fan of camp rock, but these song is just soo sweet!
nick jonas singing with guitar ? ala, cairrrr :D

Introducing Me - Nick Jonas

I'm, I'm good at wasting time,
I think lyrics need to rhyme,
And you're not asking,
But I'm tryin' to grow a mustache.

I eat cheese,
But only on pizza, Please,
And sometimes on a homemade quesadilla,
Otherwise it smells like feet to me.

And I,
I really like it when the moon looks like a toenail,
And I love it when you say,
My na-e-a-e-ame.

If you wanna know,
Here it goes,
Gonna tell you theres,
A part of me for show,
If we're close gonna let you see,
But Remember that you asked for it.

I'm tryin' t'do my best to impress,
But it's easier to let you take a guess,
At the rest,
But you wanna hear what
Lives in my brain, My heart,
Well you asked for it.

For your Perusing,
At times Confusing,
Slightly Amusing,
Introducing Me.

Do Do, Do Do Do Do Do,
La Da Da Da, La Da Da Da Da Da Da Da

I never,
Trust a dog to watch my food,
And I like to use the word dude,
As a noun, Or an adverb
Or an adjective.

And I, I Never,
Really been into cars,
I like really cool guitars,
And Superheroes,
And checks with lots of zeros on 'em.

I love the sound of violins,
And makin' someone Smi-e-i-e-ile.


Well you probably know more than you ever wanted too,
So be careful when you ask next ti-e-i-e-ime.



Do Do, Do Do Do Do Do,
Introducing me...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Raye mode still !

common question raye - duet raye mne?
we live in a world where money is what everyone craves for, there's really nothing we can do about it.

raye funn kowtt, jupe cni sane, kazens of all ages jupe, kawan pon jupe skli ;)

haa, semalam dak2 5B oh dtg ke my humble home, - actly nk kuar tgk kazen men futsal, tp tkpela, demi kawan ahaha x)
sory arhh mkn pasta jee korg eyhh, mknn bez2 smue sdare mare dah abeskn that morning and the day before :)
but thanx for coming ! =]

now 4th raye, our days are numbered.
tomorrow kaijiey's going back to india, tuition start kelas esok.
it's time for the studying to take over.

to yg amek trials esok tuhh - GUDLUK! ;D
hey, have a fun rayee :) 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

hahah ! :)



so confirming tonight's raye, i'm psyched! :)

ibu asked me to wear the hot pink baju kurung tomorrow,
haiyaakkk sddenly wishing that's not the color of my bju hehehh
oh well,
tak sabar nk raye,
nak maen mercun! but abah tk kasi.
soooo, bunge api ajelaa :D

have a great raye :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


I have no idea to give a name to this post. it's basically random thoughts.

anyways, i have physics homework - the rest ade bio hehehe bestnyee x amek ;D
and i've just finished only the paper 1. -- btw, did anyone realized this paper is way easier than our trials'? huh, unfair.
during the holidays i practically did not study much besides tuitions. heck, trials done, i'm acting like spm does not exist. heehee, but hey, i'm in the raye spirit !

speaking of raye, it's like, on friday, right? not tomorrow right? coz i'm like, confused here.. ["?]
huh, so we'll just wait for the person on tv.
or the bedil ! hey, i love hearing the bedil here. meriah puase.
but aziemaa kate, org yg urus hal2 bedil tuh kan, gaji dye like WOW. approximately sejuta.
nycee, jdik tukang bedil pon kaye ;D

the tailor JUST finished my baju raye :)
us girls love baju rayes, so forgive us and bear with us x)
so with the spirit of rayem i guess it's time to wish right?

selamat hari raya,
ampun maaf dipinta
no human is free of mistakes 

Sunday, September 5, 2010

That's enough for me :)

I had wanted to post these lyrics for some time now - since my sister first downloaded it somewhat 2 months ago, but it totally slipped my mind until today.
I was in my mom's shop doing all those 'hantaran's and flowers decoration yadayadayada,
and i heard the song twice during that time.
So of course, it's as if i fell in love with the song all over again ;)

enjoy --- but my word, this song is actually LONG ;D

oh and the slanted words + the chorus are my favourite parts :)

IF IT'S LOVE - Train 

While everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it, I'm not in it to win it
And there's a thousand ways you can skin it

My feet have been flat on the floor like an idle singer
Remember winger, I digress
 I confess you are the best thing in my life

But I'm afraid when I hear stories of a husband and wife
There's no happy endings, no Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me

Chorus :
If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better

If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever

If I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We could be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love
Got to have something that keeps us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

Took a loan on a house I own
Can't be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy you everything except cologne, cause it's poison

We can travel to Spain where the rain falls
Mainly on the plain side and sing
'Cause it is we can laugh we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything

Hold our cellphones up in the air
And just be glad that we made it here alive
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to you face


You could move in, I won't ask where you've been
Cause everybody has a past
When we're older, we'll do it all over again

When everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it, I'm not in it to win it
I'm in it for you


Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

In a way, it's for you

Saturday, September 4, 2010

oh heart, don't lie to me.

i dont know.
i've been asking myself since it started.
i can't answer myself.
the bits of me are all over the place.
i'm a mess.
my mind tells me tales.
my heart can't say the truth.
i believe i really care. that i do.

i smile when i think of you,
i grin at the memories,
i feel happy just by the sight of your name,
so what happened?

it hurts that this is happening.
time, heal me.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Give us a smile, love.

There's nothing like the feeling after your last paper in an exam.
I wonder what after SPM would feel like, but that's another story.
My last paper was EST 2 which of course i did with nausea filling my head - every question with a paragraph? somebody knock me unconscious already!!
I handed the paper in 25 minutes early, i couldnt stand the torture. ngeehee~

I thought of talking about the agony each paper during my trials gave me, but i'm too thrilled at this newly felt freedom to care of remembering. ;)

so let's talk about RAYE!
i cant wait! - even with the annoying fact that the tailor my mom found had again, not finish sewing my baju raye. thank god for the ready-made pink one my mom got me earlier. -- this would be the first time i have a ready-made baju kurung, all previous are tailored. awesome, this is progress in an odd sense ;D

i'm actually not sure why i'm all thrilled for raye, there's never been anything special actually.
it's not like back then when the relatives on my mum's side would gather together.
it's heartbreaking when families fight. you drag the young ones into it too.
so basically i'm looking forward to the nothing-special-raye after all.
but screw that, i love celebrations ;)

tomorrow ; Majlis - cheyy3 - Berbuka Puase 5 Bestari '10 di Sumai. hahahh, made up my mind. i'm going ;)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

No Clue.

i think if i had not been so focused on trying to answer the questions, i would've been crying.
it was sooo frustrating not being able to answer - i am talking about addmaths 2 btw.
well there goes 2nd week.
hopefully next week holds better chances.
which reminds me, i havent yet sit PAI 1.
ngeehee, nk bace la neh ;)

anda ; lantak lah. malas nak kesah pon. x(
you can go right ahead and dissapear.

umm, bulan puase kann.. so smue bende jahat tuh, SORRY !
ifa mmg byk bwt jahat. i know, ;)
raye nnt jemput ke rumah! hahaha x) --- kes daddy gaga igtkn 15hri lgi nk raye smlm ;)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hold that thought

Yes i am aware that i should be studying right now. I have sej 2 and phy 2 for God's Sake tomorrow!
Hell im just trying to get this load off my chest. T.T
Phy 1, i hate you! arghhh -- i am aware that it's me i shud hate for not studying.
ugh, trials, i just want you to end ;(

I think my trials was me getting into a car, and crash and burn! wuu~~


Oh well, back to the books i love oh so dearly.

Pieces ;

--I think you're cute x)

--Worrying about you :(

Saturday, August 7, 2010

We can travel to Spain where the rain falls.

I think it's my heart that changed.
It cuts me when I couldnt tell you what i should, when i used to before.
I didnt stop caring. I just stopped believing.
Drifting away, i dont like it.
I guess what's best is to wait and see.
I pray with all my heart that whatever happens, it doesnt hurt the both of us.

Current fave song to hear on the radio : Train ; If it's love

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Kurik Kundi !

Cheers for me being back at school.
Boos for me not being able to understand a single damn thing of evrything i missed.
Gawd, so frustrating.
I am missing those Rhythm Section peeps more and more.
Never a day without not remembering them - yes yes, it's been like what, 3 days since i saw them? - but freaking hell, life is meaningless without them.


Haa, ne laa budak2 yg best thap max tuh ! ;)

Never gonna forget you people.
Specially adek2 plus roomies plus keyboardist slash (betol ke eja?) pianist.

I miss jamming with you people.
Time makann ! yeahh byk kacau mengacau.
Hahaa, suke gler last nite tuh.
Duk kat depan bilik ktorg yg bez tuh - 315 - pastu makan cheezels ramai2. heehee~
Sampai si cg fauzi tuh dtg nyebok suh g tdo. Ape daaaa,
Dah la budak laki 4 org tuh g masok bilik ktorg! - malu malu x) dhla sepah gle sbb nk start packing tp tk jdi - sbb nk pujuk Farah yg nanges awal2, tk depan org ramai, tak cam ifa ngn raby, nanges dpan ogr rmi, hee hee. --but dont tell those teachers.
They'll freak. ;)

The last song for the orches was Kurik Kundi that day.
We had never had a soft spot for that loonngg boring song.
And the more i grew to despise it when it became the finishing song, signing the end of this wonderful kem muzik 2010.
I have ssoo many many regrets because i only realised the existance of this particular camp only this year. Should it had been last year, more time with them duh!

Music camp definitely the best activity in my 2010 year. hee
So with my saying that I Love You Rhythm Section and orchestra participants and Cekgu2 yg Rocking gler3 ! ,
I now have to say it's time i focus on my studies - ugh, skema gle - hehe. So hardly much contact shall happen, but bear in mind that i effing miss you guys every second !

To Qorie + Rizal, weyhh spm weyhh! ;) nak soklan spot taww :D
Oh and budak2 kechik tuh, Raby ngn Farah suh kte drive g penang next year kalau kem diorg ctu. Beli mcd for diorg. Hahahh~

Cyunk korg weyh :)

Trials ! im not ready for ye, but im trying like hell here. ;)

Friday, July 23, 2010

tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian.

Kay the title was the result of the speech I juz heard.
I am now at syahbandar - festival gamelan.
I know, weird place to be blogging ayte? But I'm dead bored so screw whatever weirdness.
Heck, my dad's falling asleep next to me.
It started out like this;
I was supposed to go for tuition, turns out there was no class when my mom told me that there was tonight.
So my dad was to go to this festival, and I was like, hey I'll tag along! Huge mistake.
I quite forgot that where there are people in batiks, there are long speeches that make no damn sense.
Why can't they juz be like, " welcome. With this I rasmikan this festival"

So tomorrow is finally the Agong's day at ss.
And ryte afta that I'm off to music camp once more.
So here's the thing, I'm not even sure of the schedule of that camp. Haha, talk about being blindly led. ;)

I juz saw real life japanese people in kimonos. Awesome x)
Oh finally, speeches are over. Enterainment time please people ;)

Ps; I am literally surrounded by people in batik. And I'm in my hoodie and jeans plus slippers. Hahah, screw the dress code xP

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I love the way you lie.

Things are sh*tty these days.
I am forever loomed over by trials and spm itself.
I am still behind in my studies in many ways you could imagine.

The past week, i didnt go to school - cheers ! x)
Music camp, boring, dull, exciting, exhilirating etc etc.
Hahaa, all in all, fun but lack of activities -duh- and upsetting - in my view - because i missed school.
Hey, a girl has a conscience. ;)
Dahla 5 org je kowt kem tuh. Plus, i really missed the comfortable accodomations of home.
Call me spoiled, but hey, i survived ayte?

I dont know what's up with me nowadays.
I get pissed easily, one minute hyper the other down like hell.
Then again, i guess i do know why.
There's only so much a girl can take.
I'm exhausted, tired of lectures, cant find anything that soothes me.
I pray i get better - i dont like being emo okay?

Good news? I didnt get PLKN. And hoping that's final !
Hehe Irra Hazirah, Tahniah ! Anda dipilih untuk menyertai Latihan Khidmat Negara siri 11 - kot? - yang pasti, tahun 2012.

x) ; i hope everything's okay.

Well, that's updating.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
But it's alright because i like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry.
But it's okay because i love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Sparks fly, it's like electricity.

And thus, MCCP went by :) - to ones who have no freaking idea what that is, it stands for Majlis Cakna Cemerlang Pelajar - huh, at least i think so. but in other words, Report Card Day, or Parent-Teacher Conference. yes, the day most students despised greatly, although the fact that there are no classes and you can come and go as you please is a total up-side.
It was a dragg and a bore. But there are several spotlighted events.

I like that we shrieked shrilly when we shared the happy secret.
I like that we learned that people buy burger without the bun.
I like that we hung out behind the class expecting to hear the boys gossip but got dissapointed.
I like that we had our dads arriving at the same time - though in a way abs fearful !
ziemaa ! i liver you <3 ;)

 Heyy, so the day wasnt so bad i guess.

Currently ;

Get the difference between 'dont want' and 'cannot' ? 
splendid ! now we get each other?

I would like to apologize if luck wont be on my side.
Yes i would love revenge and the sweet taste of victory.
But things aint looking so good right now.  ;(
I'm sorry, I'll help in any way i can SSMB :(

Light Chat

I am trying to recall a conversation i had with anak pak wahab several days back.
I cant find in my memories what caused the conversation, but i definitely remembered what it was about.
Having the boarding school experience, there are the small things we believe girls would love oh so very much. I will tell from my view.

In boarding schools,
we had lockers. You know, to stuff all the books for classes and such.
So there would be events when a girl would open her locker and find a bar of chocolate with a note left in there. Or birthday gifts. Sometimes, just really nice notes. :)
It's really a sweet thing and sometimes horrifying because usually, lockers have locks. XD
Sometimes, notes in books are a cute thing too ;)
Next, boyfriends carrying their girlfriends stuff before prep. Sure there'll be books to bring back to prep. And as the bfs walk the gfs towards the prep - of course there would be a limit point where the boys cant pass - they carry those books. Wonder if the boys would carry a whole load of books if the gf asked to? XD

so this is the konon2 gentleman act x)

As a total failure, i have not yet deactivated my FB.
But the date is set. 070710.
May my silly teenage self have the strength and patience for it. :)

I think we're slipping away from each other, dont you think?
I would be a fool to be blind to this. :(

 title : kissing you - miranda cosgrove - catchy song :D

Friday, June 25, 2010

Red Tears

I suddenly remembered this book i read about three years ago. - above title.
I remembered feeling for the character and being apalled yet strangely intrigued by her self-harm actions when she started feeling terrible pressure.
She was strong and vulnerable at the same time.
The book tells about how the teenage girl tried her best in maintaining to be good at the things she was good at but later fell due to pressure. the pressure came from parents and schoolmates.
She later turned into a girl so different than who she was before.
Recommending and also searching ! :D

Official announcement ;

I no longer own a phone, so further contact will be a little difficult.
I would also deactivate my fb the next time i go online.
I would also ceased blogging.

Well, life sucks when pressure exists.

A penny for you thoughts

i've always wondered why we cry when we feel hurt.
coz it hurts when i cry.

i want to feel nothing and numb please. :(

sorry, this is me, being depressed.

to you ; i needed you just now. :(

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

why don't you kill me already.

no one has that much patience.
i wish i was numb.
that would mean no anger, and with no anger there shall be no pain, and with no pain, then hurt would not happen.

to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Behind the scenes.

How can one not feel crushed after that?
How can one's spirit not feel terribly low?
We tried to stay calm as we slowly involuntarily get involved in this cruel world where dirty politics and bribery rules majestically in a bad way.
I couldn't cry for i felt numb.

We really did our best. Every single one of them did.
I am a total newbie in this crowd, but i have gotten to love and adore them for the way they love and adore each other. Drama is common but so is forgiveness. Music is what unites this crowd as well as love and respect.
Anda semua rock dan best. 
Jangan moral down.
SSMB IS the very BEST. 

- Retiring from the crowd, happy but sad, laughing but at the same time grieving. :')

My wish

To have more time.

Addmaths folio - uncomplete
Piano exam - totally not ready - mmg mati ahh klu fail. 500 + flew out the window. -_-"
IU Day - gawd, i am on tcer wan's wanted list. x)

Studies - like hell.

Facebook and wuteva other things that distract me, you are going doowwnnn x)

Being me is crappy, but i love all the moments. - well, not all ;)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Talk to yourself, talk to the tears.

Remind me again why i hate you.
I had went through these old photographs.
I couldn't help feeling sad and wee bit nostalgia when i saw them.
I could not believe how everything turned out this way.
How exciting and comforting those days were. How i hate seeing how close we were.
How painful it feels that all those almost seemed like a lie, a tale told in a book that is now slowly dressed with layers of dust.
I erased the ones i see, but i could not rid of the ones that are vague in memoirs right now.
Only time works as the antidote, or poison for what matters.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.

Remind me again why i don't like you anymore.
I don't like where i am now.
I don't like feeling that rush of adored old times again.
I don't want to smile when i read a text by you that cracks me up, or when you remember what i told you last time.
I don't like that feeling, that feeling where your chest suddenly feels terribly empty and aches when you appeared because i remembered how you disappeared before.
Why now?
Why when i am at my most vulnerable?
Everything is called were and was for a reason.
I don't like you anymore. So don't remind me why i did.

I could go back to every laugh, but i don't wanna go there anymore.

Remind me again why i like you.
I like that sometimes when i think of you, you were already thinking of me.
I like that you put up with me not putting you first.
I like that you stand my flaws and your patience at not hearing what you hoped i would say.
I like that you actually made me like you, when before this i didn't.
But really, is it enough?

You make it hard to see where i belong to

title from a line in - come in with the rain ; taylor swift

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I wish i could drive. Doesnt matter if i have a license or not. Would make my life a lot better.
And i could avoid being late for band - at least no running was involved x)
I was kinda absent throughout band practice, my mind wandering every minute or so.
I tend to do that when i just had a rough time.
You can say that it's a way of trying to hold myself together.
Of the event this morning, i have to admit it affected me the whole day, that is until i got home and got a nice nap.

So it's just me and Irra now.
It's a drag being in this empty house. And when i'm bored, I'll open the damn refrigerator every 30 minutes or so, hence the weight gain.
A good thing band is a very efficient workout.

I really have got to get my lazy ass to work. I havent done the acceptable amount of homework i received.
And by acceptable i mean little. ;D
Bless the people who have tons of homework and are finishing them.
And by people, i mean my sister, Irra Hazirah.

Anyhow, i'm catching Glee at nine.
So let's grab that BM essay book shall we?

Side orders : Bored without you. x)
sheeshh, even now i'm thinking of food?

Monday, June 14, 2010

Like it's all we have to hold on to.

I'm feeling a little depressed today.
Depression is something hard to avoid if you're called a teenager okaayy..

here's the thing.
it's the freaking holidays, and i freaking didnt feel it, but this is freaking better than school days again.
I dread the day school opens again. I'm not ready, but i know i have to be.
It's already time for the sprint - the full all out sprint begins at 100 days to go - aaa cuakk!!

Okay so today band was,, umm depressing as well? I have to say everyone seems to have the blues today and by that i mean depressed as well. *haha! ter-ingat petang td.

Everyone wasnt the usual hyper oy oy and whatnot.

So, that adds to my cause of depression list.


I believe my phone will be a little silent for 4 days.
Heheh, enjoy the wilderness you. Be safe, Take care, Watch your step, whatever etc etc.
You know,
She hates that she's missing you already cause this is soo not her.
What's wrong with you girl? Get a grip ! Slap yourself !

I swear, her heart is getting softer now.
That's not a good thing. Right?

 I'm no big fan of the singers, but the song is okay i guess - We'll Be A Dream : Demi Lovato ft. We The Kings.
When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Friday, June 11, 2010

hye, i'm chucky. wanna play?

kayy just remembering the way that doll said that gives me the creeps.
i didnt remember the story well and was curious to watch it just now when it was shown on cinemax.
and then i remembered why in the world i was so damn scared of dolls last time.
why wont that freaking doll just die ?!
i mean the head went off, a leg and an arm was blasted away !
and it still moves??!
i pray to not get nightmares tonight.
and my heart's practically beating as fast as it was when the movie showed the first time that doll moved.
I HATE DOLLS because i'm SCARED of them.
particularly dolls like that chucky - big , human size, fake hair, but eyes that look too real or worst, moves. x(

i really really am scared of them you can even call it some kind of phobia.
i dont want to watch that again.

note to self : dont let your curiosity take over you.

you are 16 going on 17 ;)

haa, what else, wish la wish la ! heheheh :D

yes this old gal is growing older and older and officially seventeen today.
i am wishing all 11th June celebrators a very Happy Birthday !!

today was quite empty actually, we just went out to buy a cake, i went to tuition - tbe2 rajenn ,
home; locked myself in the room and on9 !
thanks to all who remembered and wished me ! iloveyou people so damn much ! <3 <3
at 12 oclock midnight was the best i guess.
syggggg korg3 yg wish time tuh. ishk, mmg org yg slalu on9 late at night aa tuhh.

haa, and you who got my phone engaged for 30mins until 12, thanks link <3 x) 

aziemaa tersyg lakk,,
tenx 4 the 17 texts !! ifa sygg kamoo forever, tk kesah dpt kude ke takk ;D :D

wanietot chumell,, thanks sygg, wish you were near ;( rinduu!

the day has not ended yet, but i'm content with what i have.
NAK PREZZIE !! <3 <3

i'm too full of perkieness today, plz forgive moi ;)