why wait ?

if you're already planning to not stick around,

leave me now,

so i wont keep on hoping you'll still be there.

let's play pretend.

when i was little, it was so easy to play pretend.
i'd just close my eyes, and i'll be a warrior princess on a dark horse with glowing eyes and blazing mane, battling a dark scaled dragon which breaths green fire.
or i'll be a girl pretending to be the most powerful human in a realm that could be entered only through a mirror with strange designs around it.
it was so easy to pretend.
to escape reality.

what happened to that ?

when i was little, if someone made me sad, i wouldnt think twice about crying.
i would just tell the world that i'm sad, not letting that person off the hook.
i wouldnt feel so hurt inside, i wouldnt have to cross my arms and tighten my grip around myself to stop that unbearable pain in my heart.
i wouldnt have to hold myself so i wouldnt fall apart.

it was so simpler to be happy back then.

what happened to that ?

more importantly, what happened to me ?

when you're so mad that you could cry

There are 4 types of people.
People who get mad easily, but cool off fast.
People who dont get mad easily, but takes a while to cool off.
People who gets mad easily and takes a while to cool off.
and People who dont get mad easily and cools off pretty fast.

I usually fall into the first category.
I get mad so fast you dont have time to spell mad, but after a while im all better.
BUT,
depends what or who im mad at.

what i hate about being mad is that one moment im so bloody mad, the next i feel like bursting into tears - hence the reason why i cool off fast i guess.
sometimes, yeah, i guess i keep the hurt inside so yeahh some people i havent forgiven completely.

but i tire of getting mad.
im tired of the tears.
of the heartache.
so i want to stop.
can i just be like, cold inside or sumtin' ?

cause, i dont know. suddenly im just so tired.

Sumpah, Dryer Blok C is in love with me ;D

everyone's all set and ready to head home tomorrow. oopps, today.
except me.
i havent packed a thing.
ive just started my laundry day which btw, is supposed to be thursday evening, but apparently, people are so jealous of my schedule, they decided to intervene with my divine schedule.
there was a line longer than one that would be infront of the movies when Harry Potter 7 just came out.
see my exaggeration ? that's because im pretty much peeved by having to do laundry in the middle of the night when i should be snug in my bed and typing about some other stuff. ;D
but, i always say everything happens for a reason.
had i been in the mood to follow both my friends to do my laundry a little earlier, the Dryer would still be unable to perform its job.
and i've just gone down a few minutes ago, and guess what, Mr. Dryer's working fiiiinnnneee.
so Sitti and Fira, still dont believe me when i say that the Dryer simply loves me ?
;)

yes, you can make a conclusion that i'm that bored of waiting fr my turn in line that i am actually talking about this on my blog.
pathetic, yes.
but, it's my freaking riding boots ur in buster ;)

what do you think ?

haha not only houses should be given a new look for this raya.
what do you think ? i just wish the background isnt tiled, but if it's not, then it doesnt look so pretty.
hehe.
oke gtg,
Selamat Pulang ke Kampung Semue :)

Read the Sign

This Site is Currently Under Construction :)

you make me laugh, you make me cry.

em first and foremost, hoping that you dont read this. i'd die of shame. haha :p

3days. not whole. not too short. not enough either.
how can it be enough ?
i cant get enough of seeing you smile - at me, for me, with me.
i cant forget the things you say that just make me blush and smile.
i cant believe how head over heels i am still over you.

bet you have no idea how torn inside i felt when i had to watch you leave.
bet you didnt know that was why i turned away before i could see you disappear from my view.
bet you didnt know that the moment you stepped away from me, i already miss you.

and now facing this week is almost unbearable.
i did say almost, right ?
more tearworks than ever been.

impatient :)

dear tomorrow,

please come quick.

im getting fidgety rickety ditty itty bitty.

i bet when you arrive, id be constantly glancing at the watch.

i bet ill be rocking the chair during my last class.

so as much as i love you tomorrow,

i am disheveled by you.

with love,

:)

Bilik 109C :)

i've realized that i havent actually told of the parts that actually made me love this place.
so here goes.
my room !
i have 3 roomates. - sini ade konflik, jgn ditanye.
the two craziest + havoc people i've ever known :

Sitti Nurul Ain Sahidah

Zafira Zainal

haa duorg ne kan,

dalam satu hari tak buat aku gelak kuat2 smpi saket perot,

tak sah hidop ! xD

masing2 slalu ade jee nk jodohkan each other ngn org ne la, tu lah.

si makcik fira tuh ngn ustaz arab kesayangan. 

eh tapi ade one more choice,

abg musa Ain Nanak lol ;D

si SiTTi Ain ne tak boleh blah.

betape ramaaaiiii nye bakal tunang die. HAHA

Mamak bistro lah, Abg Dean lah, Ustaz Amirul lah.

Sape lagi kau nak ea ? x)

nseb ifa selamat bab tu :DDD

 but ! :)

my room is also now an unofficial home for 3 more insane! people !

Anis Artis Anihh

Farah Froggie

Atun Eton KakTonn

nak kate diorg ne waras,

masok bilik ne, maken havoc bilik adelahh ;D

dekat tiap2 malam squatting ( term sini utk crashing at another's room )

hehehh.

naseb korg2 ne best, lau tak hari2 ifa kne halau korg kuar,

ade ke patot ? ifa boleh gelak2 smpi tido skali angkara korg ne ! piiiraaahh ! x)

err.

disebabkan smue budak2 ne loyar burok habesan,

habes famous bilik neh !

paling bising,

paling famous dgn pelawat,

dgn sukaann pakai shorts lagi.

we even received the privileged visit from a fellow. hardcore tak kami ? xD

fikir balek kan,

sbb bnde ne je dah kene chop budak2 bermasalah. syal ah, puihh !

heh screw this. aak ? x)

emm in class ?

well everyone's cool and sporting enough.

but yeahh, a different environment hence me feeling pressured.

makes me feel like me being in the first class when im supposed to be in the last back in my old high school. -_-"

get an idea to it ?

oh well.

im coming to accept this new life. funny, im now a constant rule-breaker though. haha;)

em that's all :)

settle down, heart.

miss you

felt dreadful

gotten used to missing you

doing fine

suddenly

miss you so much now

hurts too much

 heart breaking

but

i love you

so i endure missing you.

Kalau Ade Jodoh, Kite Jupe Lagi :)

to those who watched the movie, or the trailer even, you'd know straight away who said the above title/phrase/dialogue/whateverr.
*comel kan ? ;D

em emm.
im actually trying to delay from completing my ILH workbook. damnnn, if i could get a wish, i'd wish to have laziness removed from my system. :p
anywhoo, what do i want to talk about ?
ditch more about my life here ?
worldwide problems ?
midsemexaminations ?

and there you go, the laziness disease had just engulfed me.
i'll just summarise those questions above with this;

these sucked so damn much.

em emmm. kbaii :p

Missing : Dont Find Me

am i supposed to tell that i've finally feel comfortable in this place ? wait scratch that. this new life.
something in me has broken. i feel so weird. mood swings all the time.
one moment i'm all smiles, next i feel like snapping at the person who irritated me.
what am i supposed to say ? what am i supposed to do ? what am i supposed to feel ?
cause i feel nothing anymore.