To Not Let Go

I love giving titles to what i write. It gives me pleasure, though sometimes you could see that it has no connection whatsoever to what i wrote. But here's a secret. it has a connection, you just couldnt see it like i do ;) 
But tonight, maybe due to my feeling so solemn right now, i cant find the right one to give before i started writing whatever words that go through my silly little mind.


So here goes.

That day,
it was.. i dont know how to put it to words.
Painful ?
Heartbreaking ?
Wonderful ?
Lovely ?

It was everything i suppose.
You cant feel happy if you dont know what sad is.
You cant understand how wonderful a smile is if you dont know how terrible you feel when you cry.
You cant feel love, if you cant feel pain.


Yesterday shook me, scarred me, frightened me.
I wanted you to hurt like i hurt.
I wanted you to cry like i cried.
I wanted you to be mad like i was too.
My heart broke.
Perhaps because i had trusted that you could never hurt me that way.
So perhaps that's why.
Like something out of a book right ?
Everyone says, life isnt a storybook or a movie.
If it is as such, then those creators not only created a whole new world, but created feelings too ?
So, no. Such feelings exist.


I dont know about you.
But i love you. So much, it hurts.

We've both said words that cut us up.
But we've both tried words that could heal each other too.
It feels weird, for me.
That for you, i wanted this to go away.

When you love someone so much, no matter what is thrown at you, bury you, you'll claw your way out.
To make it work.
To not fall apart.
To still be able to be with each other.
To not let go of you.


So i guess i've thought of a title after all, right ?