Buried

She screams. But no one hears. Not a sound. Not a peek. No one hears her screams.
She drowns. She burns. She's lost, there's no return.
But no one saves her. Not in time, that is.
Because no one knew.
That this girl needs saving.
She was good at that.
Hiding.
Smiling.
Pretending.
Til the point she's just too broken.
But everybody couldn't figure it out. Why? How? When?
Why ?
Even she couldn't answer that.
How ?
No. There's too many answers to that.
When ?
There's no exact time.
But it feels as if.
She had always been broken.
A broken doll, all along.

She patches herself up.
She stitches her wounds.
But they are sore. They sting. They're the cause of her pain.
She grew up alone. Surrounded by people. But felt alone nonetheless.
Doesn't mean she wants to be alone.
These people.
Around her.
Can't they see her ? Can't they help her ? Save her.

She's too gone.
Too lost.
Too broken to be saved.

She buries her words.
Buries her pain.
Her dreams.
Her love.
Her heart.
She buried herself.

Broken Arrow - The Script

This time he's gonna wear an iron suit
This time she's gonna fix her heart and make it bullet proof
He says he's gonna take a bite from the forbidden fruit
She says never never bite more than you can chew
But this time he's not gonna be another could've been
This time she's gonna get real, love the skin she's in
She says a winner never quits, quitters never win
She said this time that she is built to face anything
This time he's gonna step for who he is
This time she's gonna live to work, she's not working to live
He says just because you say it's true, it don't mean it is
She says it seems too good to be true, well then it probably is
This time he's hell bent yeah he's heaven bound
This time she's gonna pick herself up no more breaking down
He says he's gonna turn the wheel, turn this sh*t around
She says if he's looking for love then she don't want to be found

When you shoot across the sky like a broken arrow
It's so hard to keep yourself on the straight and narrow
When you shoot across the sky like a broken arrow
It's all I've got
Yeah when you hit the ground
It's hard to get to heaven when your falling hell bound

This time he's gonna make it to the aftermath
This time she's gonna raise her head choose the righteous path
He said one day we will look back and it will make us laugh
She said better to have and not need, than to need and not have
No matter what the cause it's better to have loved and lost
Have you ever met a man who never loved at all?
Yeah the higher they are the bigger they fall
You have to choose something cuz you can't have it all
No, he's not gonna be the last to the finish line
She said even losers get lucky sometimes
He says it's gonna get better like a fine wine
She says it's harder to smell the roses when the sun don't shine
This time he's gonna find another way
This time she's gonna take you to the good ol'days with no ,.gracing
Only warm embraces with the two little sweet angels with dirty faces

When you shoot across the sky like a broken arrow
It's so hard to keep yourself on the straight and narrow
When you shoot across the sky like a broken arrow
It's all I've got
Yeah when you hit the ground
It's hard to get to heaven when your falling hell bound

Every break, every burn, every toss, every turn, every sin,
anything you've learned all programed
Every break, every burn, every toss, every turn, every sin,
everything we've learned all programed

When you shoot across the sky like a broken arrow
It's so hard to keep yourself on the straight and narrow
When you shoot across the sky like a broken arrow
It's all I've got
Yeah when you hit the ground
It's hard to get to heaven when your falling hell bound

You're my sweet.

Yes I realised that it's been a while. Cant really blame me you see. Cause there's the internet problem, and the lack of free time.. and the laziness... Okay fine. Blame me. It is mainly due to laziness.
What my life has been ?
A swirl and mix of unknown substances.
I felt like I've grown a lot.
And still feel so young and meek and scared of the unknown. The unknown being the world and what it holds for me.
I'm currently waiting for my Sem1 Year1 results.
You have no idea how nerve-racking it is.
I mean. Well. I just have a lot riding on this one.
Let's just say, it made me think so much. Of my future. Of what I'll be. Of who I'll be.
I've lost myself.
And I guess,
I want someone to help me, find me, save me.
I want you.
But I keep feeling like I have to let go.
Thing is.
I dont know if, when I let go, I'll manage to stay afloat.
Or drown.

I Freaking Take It All Back

Forget you and me.
I've always knew that in the end, there will only be me.

Something real, something sweet, something real sweet.

I was, a moment ago, reading some essays as prep for my MUET writing exam on Saturday..
As usual, I got bored, so I wanted to go on Twittah, and got real nice shock when the words on the screen were, "Twitter is currently down."
Hehe.
Hey TwittahManiacs, betcha keep hitting the refresh button ey ?


So I decided to see if my grammar was bad by, well, writing here. Also, by dedicating this post to 3 people who I miss terribly ; Farah . Zafira . Atun .


*it is my utmost regret to inform that they did not blackmail me or use force of any kind so I would write this post.


Okeyy, Farah and Zafira were my roommates last sem and Atun was a regular tenant in our room -__-
hehe.
They're loud, hillarious, crazy.. Eat a lot. HEHE
 And, they call me mummy. When, clearly, I'm the youngest XDD
*shoutout : "Yes my dears, korang tige2 tue !"


They were the ones who got me through tough times, guided me, cheered me up, made me go crazy, made me laugh til my stomach hurts, saw me cried, saw me roll on the floor, saw me at my worst, and weirdest.

It's true what people say, a person, cannot be truly, a good friend, if they had never lived with you.


I love them for how they accept I'm awkward and weird, *and nice :DD *buat muke cute
I love them for how they took the time to know me.
For how crazy they can be, and yet appear absolutely normal outside and how they always amuse me.
They've never failed to surprise me, to umm, add stuff to my knowledge -__-
And, the criticism, the insults, the cheeky remarks and comebacks. You wouldnt believe how much O.O

Dearests,
It is embarrassing to be writing such nice stuff about you three ! *Aargh malu gilee nak letak mane muke nanti >.<


And I'm almost positive that when you read this *hoping that the thought of checking my blog crosses your minds a year from now* You'll be laughing. So hard.
I miss your laughter so badly right now :(  *nak mengilai pun ngilai lah. Rindu dengar. hahaa

I hope that we'll meet soon. :)
Cannot wait to be studying together again.
I pray that we never grow further apart. That we'll still be sitting around commenting on each others' weight and looks and kids *errr ?* when we're like, 40 or something. Haha.



Kawan sampai Jannah.
InsyaAllah.
Sayang korang :)

All That I Am Left With

When I learned writing essays and stories last time, my tutors told me to always think of a title.
I resented that.
I have a horrid habit of always running out of topic.
But training me to do so, keeps me in control. Gives me a sense of boundaries I suppose.
I dont write stories and essays anymore.
I write meaningless stuff here though.
And being out of practice, I dont usually have a title ready.
Sometimes, you can see the title seem to not have any connection whatsoever to the content.
Well.
I'm weird like that. -_-
I've scrolled down and read my posts, realizing how silly some of them are.
Seriously.


Coz you see. I dont easily say what I feel. Out loud.
It's like, super hard.
But, I can write about them.
Encrypted with riddles and I always beat around the bush to get to the point, but I get there.
I just, cant say it. Say it to someone.
 So I write.

Anywhooo.
I've been feeling like a living dummy. Not that I know what a dummy feels like. Nor a living dummy.
In fact, dummies scare the hell out of me so lets drop this dummy thing.
I've been feeling useless.
Just wake up, send my sis to my teacher's house,
Sleep,
Be a potato couch,
Wait for my sis to come back,
Wait around for a text or bbm all day -__-
Online,
Just looking for some humans to interact with.
Yeah well, you get the idea. -___-

So i'm pretty psyched when i got my offer letter.
Alhamdulillah. :)
But yeah, just seeing, 'Bachelor of Laws' makes me so damn nervous.
I mean, I barely made it through my first sem of CFS. -__-
I'm like a walking time bomb studying this course.
So yeah, I have some serious doubts about really, really, setting this course of my life.


Hmm.
I suppose, it's perfectly natural to feel this way huh ?
I guess all I'm left with,
is to go with the flow.


I'm sure, He already has made the best plan for me.
InsyaAllah :)
Ya Allah, kepadaMu aku berserah. :)

Loss of Fight

I trusted you enough to believe I wont ever feel this pain from an invisible wound.
I was foolish.
I was a fool.
I'm still a fool.
Because still, I think of giving you another chance to break my already broken heart.