Wednesday, July 18, 2012

All That I Am Left With

When I learned writing essays and stories last time, my tutors told me to always think of a title.
I resented that.
I have a horrid habit of always running out of topic.
But training me to do so, keeps me in control. Gives me a sense of boundaries I suppose.
I dont write stories and essays anymore.
I write meaningless stuff here though.
And being out of practice, I dont usually have a title ready.
Sometimes, you can see the title seem to not have any connection whatsoever to the content.
I'm weird like that. -_-
I've scrolled down and read my posts, realizing how silly some of them are.

Coz you see. I dont easily say what I feel. Out loud.
It's like, super hard.
But, I can write about them.
Encrypted with riddles and I always beat around the bush to get to the point, but I get there.
I just, cant say it. Say it to someone.
 So I write.

I've been feeling like a living dummy. Not that I know what a dummy feels like. Nor a living dummy.
In fact, dummies scare the hell out of me so lets drop this dummy thing.
I've been feeling useless.
Just wake up, send my sis to my teacher's house,
Be a potato couch,
Wait for my sis to come back,
Wait around for a text or bbm all day -__-
Just looking for some humans to interact with.
Yeah well, you get the idea. -___-

So i'm pretty psyched when i got my offer letter.
Alhamdulillah. :)
But yeah, just seeing, 'Bachelor of Laws' makes me so damn nervous.
I mean, I barely made it through my first sem of CFS. -__-
I'm like a walking time bomb studying this course.
So yeah, I have some serious doubts about really, really, setting this course of my life.

I suppose, it's perfectly natural to feel this way huh ?
I guess all I'm left with,
is to go with the flow.

I'm sure, He already has made the best plan for me.
InsyaAllah :)
Ya Allah, kepadaMu aku berserah. :)

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