And not really in the mood to study.
When i should be.
My aim now is to prove to her that i can do this. Even with the life i'm living.
I can do this, even when she says i won't be able to.
I can do this, with him supporting me.
But I feel like falling apart at the moment.
The fear, the uncertainty.
What if i'm not strong enough to fight ?
What if i don't have the strength to hold on ?
Sometimes, I say.
I can only rely on me, not anyone else as my backbone.
In truth, that's what my world is like.
I can only really, depend on myself.
Not get hurt.
Not get frustrated.
Not disappoint myself.
But in the end.
I need others, them, you, to breathe.
So i take a deep breath now. And survive.