fear and tears.

i havent said a thing about my results on my blog. emm, is it because i was dissapointed ? well maybe a little. i didnt expect to be so close. but then, have you any idea how low my expectations were ? so even if it's not the best anyone can hope for, i am grateful and satisfied. heck, i never wanted to be burdened with all those science subjects anyways. -- downside of going to SS ;)

anyways,
so now life is all about scholarships, and colleges, and courses.
while getting caught up in these, i havent realised that by doing this, i was finally saying farewell to whatever life i had before. imagine, im turning 18, hell i still feel like a kid, helpless, hopeless.

hopeless ?
ive been feeling that for the past several days. probably one of the reasons i was so nervous during my driving test that i bumped the pole. i never, bump the poles. -__-"
but Alhamdulillah i passed the road test. :D

fear, is a powerful thing. heading on to a new life, there might be some things that i have to drop off on the way.
my wish ? that you're not one of it, but instead, walk right by me :)

tears. mostly due to the rising tension and confusion.
i need a minute to breathe from everything that's happening in this house. :(

mou doushite ?

im not myself when i am confused.
im not myself when i am sad.
im being not myself for a while now.

When you care more if someone else lives than you do about yourself...is that what love's like ? - Kate Fitzgerald ; My Sister's Keeper.

i cant tell why, but this song made me cry today :(

DBSK - Why Did I Fall In Love With You

Doushite kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou?

 the last verse especially is so sad ;
 
 Sore demo kimi ga boku no soba nara to itte mo
Eien ni kimi ga shiawase de iru koto
Tada negatteru
Tatoe sore ga donna ni sabishikutemo 

meaning ;

But, even though I say that I need you close to me
I just pray that you will be happy forever
No matter how lonely that makes me (or how sad)

Hey presto ! ;D

ehh i havent online for quite a while you know ! and my first post ; something tagged by Alia Delaila aka Ashley ! ;)

a. Adakah awak rasa awak hot ?

 - nawhhh. im ice cold bebeh ! hahaha x)

b. Upload pic anda dari PC sekarang.

woww, jupe this pic the other day. 

c. Cerita pasal gambar itu.

 - err sy form 2 mse ne ! havent changed much have i ? :(

d. Bila kali terakhir anda makan ayam ?

 - err last two nights. chicken supreme pizza ! bday cheah bday cheah ! ;DD

e. Apa yang anda buat selain dari menyelesaikan tag ini ?

 - Facebookingg, songs, typical things i do onlinee ;)

f. Lagu terakhir yang anda dengar ?

 - The Wanted - Heart Vacancy ! ahhh damn damn ! Nathan sooo cuteee xD

g. Selain dari nama sendiri, anda dipanggil dengan nama apa ?

- ifa, fa, husna, ifahusna, si kuneng ! ;)

h. Tag  lagi lapan orang !

 - err aci dk tag org same ? saje jee, tk pkse rakan2 membuat ea ;)

Aziemaa timahh

Cheahh 

Alia

Miwa

Haziqq

Atenn

Tirahh sani

Aina Nadiahhh

i. Siapakah nombor satu ?

 - Tuan puteri kesayangan sy ! lebiuu timahh :D

j. Cakap sesuatu pasal nombor lima.

 - cookie monster yg mengadee ;)

k. Nombor tiga ada hubungan dengan siapa ?

 - err dye share alex pettyfer dengan sy ! ;DD

l. Bagaimana dengan budak nombor empat ?

 - taktahuu. but im praying for her safety, she's now at the Holy Land. mish youu miwa ;)

m. Pesanan buat nombor enam ?

 - cari lagi byk frogs aten syg ! x)

n. Kata kata cinta buat nombor dua ?

 - fuyyoo! err, sy sygg awk cheahh yg sudah legal ! ;DD

o. Berikan lima perkara yang anda tahu mengenai nombor satu ?

 - orang melake ! jawa babe ! anak pak wahab ! ade citer complicated ngn si die ! syg sy ! hahaha ;D

p. Persamaan kambing dengan lembu ?

 - binatang anam, err, mangse2 korban. XD

q. Adakah anda tahu Rizman itu sengal ?

 - haa ? sape tuuu ? emm, ye ye. *wat tahu jelahh.

r. Gay or Lesbo ?

 - dudee, sy ade cookie monster sy lahh. ngeh3 x)

umm, im practically nodding my head off. esok keje ! chiao amigos ;)

to you ; aihh. be a scary monster, whatever you wanna be, i'll adoree you anyway. heeeee.

* mlm2 ne sy sensitive sket. in other words, close to jiwang. hahaha.